Jenerally Speaking: February 2011

Value as defined - relative worth, merit, or importance

Just a heads up- this is going to be a long post feel free to read it in a couple of sessions.

Sitting here today reflecting on the last month and the one word that can describe it in a hole would be 'Value'. The value of my life, the value of what I choose to bring into my life and the value of what I am giving in life. This one little word has transformed me.

The Value of my Sorority-
When I returned from Colorado my sorority and I were in the mists of planning the annual Nanton Women's Conference (which was a week away). There was lot's to be done within the week to prepare for the conference and I had pretty much devoted the week to the Women's Conference. I was also asked by the organizing committee to be the MC for the fashion show. Completely out of my comfort zone , however one of my goals for the year (as discussed in past posts) . So I agreed to MC with eagerness, fear and the quote that is posted on my wall in the back of my mind- "If you are afraid, you are thinking of yourself"
By the time set up on Friday had started there were weather warnings of blizzard conditions for the day of the conference. We were concerned about attendance (we had sold about 80 tickets) and of course that our speakers would be able to attend.
The day of the conference was so powerful for me. Even though the weather was horrid, everything just fell into place we had just over 60 people attend, all of the speakers and models showed up . Some highlights of the day for me:
-Seeing and feeling the passion in the speakers as they discussed and showed us their presentations.
-The energy of the women who attended the conference . Women of all ages together for the day embracing what we had prepared for them, participating in the exercises and helping to raise $3400 for the chairties of Nanton.
-Arranging and MCing the fashion show. I was nervous and it showed but I did it!! It's a start and I can only get better.
-The women of sorority working as one throughout the day to make the conference seamless.
-Spending the evening after the conference getting to know a new friend from sorority and knowing I really could of stayed till 3 in the morning and we wouldn't of run out of things to talk about.

On Valentines day the sorority did a progressive dinner , being the only single member of sorority I am grateful that I offered to host the dessert / party. Rather then avoid the dinner (like I would of in past) I embraced it and had a wonderful time!! I laughed pretty much the entire night . What a wonderful group of people they are.
Now that I am finally allowing myself to be a part of them. I am so glad that I stayed in sorority over the last year (as it was difficult ) but I believe in my life or a reason. Only took me just over a year to realize that..

The Value of Nanton-
A town that I have been a part of for almost five years now and have admittedly never fully understood or took the time to understand my place.
After the experience of the Women's conference , the following week I went to a fundraiser for a well known family in the town. This fundraiser was put on to help their 24 year old son live a more independent life after a very tragic accident back in September left him paralyzed.
I have never experienced something so powerful in my life. This small little town of 2500 people and surrounding farms came together like nothing I have ever seen. There was over 200 silent auction items, over a 100 live auction items and probably over 700 people (well over capacity ) at the community center raising funds for Terry. The energy in the room was intense and exciting everyone was there with the purpose of helping this family . The auctions were all going well over retail value and this phenomenal town came together and raised well over $100,000 for Terry.

These two events in Nanton helped me solidify my place in Nanton and my need to stay in Nanton. Once I realized this is where I am meant to be a complete mind shift towards the town happened. A sense of belonging, a sense of wanting to get to know the people , a sense of letting people know me. As well as a sense of the future for me and the kids in Nanton. Did you see that I used the word "future" ? Yes a small glimpse into my future needs rather then always just living day by day.

The Value of giving-
A new approach in life for me. It really doesn't cost me much money just a sense of awareness of the needs of people in my life. A sense of appreciation for the people in my life both old and new.
Knowing that I have something of value to share with people is actually a nerve racking experience for me. I'm trying to process why, when I offer or do something for someone my nerves before hand are over whelming. Isn't that bizarre? I think maybe it is because it's out of my comfort zone to be so aware of other peoples needs, I probably want to make sure I'm doing it right and it's probably because I'm just doing it without over thinking the results.

Staying positive today, glad to be blogging again as there is value in expressing my thoughts

So as some of you may have noticed I haven't had a personal post for over a month, since I finished my course in Colorado. Why haven't I posted since that time you ask? I'm really not sure...
I do believe the course for me was life changing and my focus has been primarily on my business and on my life. The course helped me build an amazing business plan as well as a life plan (not in the course but something I took from it).
I have felt and this is going to sound odd. That my brain is full. It has reached it's maximum capacity. I got all this wonderful information in Colorado that is in the front of my mind right now. However, I feel like I am capable of only accepting positive things in my life. It's like the negative filter in my brain is set on high and not allowing any negative words or actions in. This may sound ideal but I find it frustrating at times. When I am confronted with an issue that needs to be addressed . I have no answer , I have no way to process what has been said let alone give the response that is needed or asked for. I want and need to understand what is going on in my mind and find a balance. I need those neurons to connect again (which ironically they are as I type this post- what does that tell me?).
My goal then would be to open my mind to both the positives and negatives in my life as both are there to help me grow. Of course not to hold onto the negatives but find a healthy way to take them in , process it, respond to it and then let it go.
I will post more as I know it is a necessity for me to live a fully conscious life .

Staying positive (maybe too positive)
Glad to be back!